I offer therapy for couples or families who are presently going through a crisis or wish to avoid one. I see my role as an involved yet detached observer, an “interpreter” of misunderstandings who brings up aspects which clients may not have yet considered and who offers additional perspectives. I focus on the strengths of the individuals and seek to activate these resources for working on current problems.

Having worked as a therapist abroad, I can offer counselling in German, English and French. My focus is systemic and includes all individuals in the process. The aim of this approach is to support those involved in creating a common bond by being open and frank with one another. Therefore, both partners or the entire family usually take part in the sessions. A trial session gives you the opportunity to explore your concerns and wishes as a couple or family with me and to clarify your goals for the counselling process.  It presents the opportunity for us to get to know one another and for you to decide whether you would like to start regular counselling sessions.

I also offer counselling for individuals.

• Born in 1959, married, mother of one grown daughter
• English and French Literature (M.A.)
• Qualification as Couple and Family Therapist 1991-1994
• Couple therapist in India 1995-1999
• Therapist at various Hamburg counselling agencies and in private practice since 2000
• Studies in psychology (Diplom Psychologin) completed at University of Hamburg 2012
• Experience in management and leadership (as of 2015)
• non-medical practitioner of psychotherapy (Heilpraktikerin auf dem Gebiet der Psychotherapie) 2024

• 2005, Working with Families from the Indian Subcontinent, Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal 27(3), 315-327.
• 2007, Affären: Bindungsangst oder Bindungsfrust?, in: Beziehungsweise glücklich. Profitipps von Paartherapeuten, herausgegeben von F. Schwiderski, Ernst Reinhardt-Verlag, München.
• 2011, mit A.v.d.Osten-Sacken, Kindeswohlgefährdung bei Jugendlichen?, FORUM für Kinder- und Jugendarbeit (3), 48 - 50
• 2012, “When I’m 64…” Working with elderly couples (Kongressbeitrag “Couples and Intimacy”, Indian Association of Couples and Family Therapy, New Delhi, 4-5 Jan 2012)

There are as many reasons for going into couple or family counselling as there are people. In my experience, however, couples and families opt for the support of a therapist, particularly, when the following situations arise:

• We argue endlessly
• My partner has had an affair
• Our relationship has dulled since we have become parents
• Together in the later stages of life
• My parents don’t understand – we don’t understand our child

At the slightest provocation partners feel angered, rejected and hurt by each other. Long verbal battles result in the withdrawal of one or both individuals and communication becomes impossible. Sometimes the source of the arguments can be traced back to a bitter disappointment which has remained unexpressed and, therefore, still a cause of pain.  At such times it is important for each individual to rediscover feelings and needs which have been (lost or buried), to clearly express his or her wishes and to understand what may be keeping one from responding to the other. This process can reopen the door to openness and dedication.

An extramarital affair, which is brought into the open, has a devastating effect on a relationship. The betrayed partner is immensely hurt and often left with the question “Why?” The one having the affair may be consumed by guilt and at the same time find it painful to end the affair in order to save his or her relationship. The desire to stay together and work through unresolved issues, however, provides a good basis for counselling. In counselling it is important to consider what unfulfilled needs have led a partner astray and how these can then be addressed in the relationship. In the process it is not unusual to find that the one betrayed has not been happy either. In striving for reconciliation it is important that having owned and acknowledged the pain caused by the affair, both partners are open for a fresh start and willing to work on creating a mutually satisfying relationship.

Especially when partners become parents for the first time, their relationship may change in a way neither had expected: Meeting both their child’s needs and their own can be very challenging. It may lead to frustration and result in emotional distancing.  Sometimes mutual respect and appreciation get lost along the way. Therapy can help you rediscover the love you felt for one another before the baby’s arrival.  It offers you the chance to create new space for intimacy and despite the ever-present demands of parenthood to find ways of enjoying your relationship again.

Your children are grown-up, you have taken initial steps towards retiring – what about your relationship as you both grow older? In times of change like this arguments may flare up because as you grow older your rhythm of life changes, there may be physical restrictions coming on and the time the two of you have left together does not seem endless anymore. Elderly couples need to share their changing needs and wishes openly with one other. Quite often they may want to reflect about their passing away and the emotions involved. Counselling gives them the opportunity to develop a common vision of the eve of their lives.

The child-parent-relationship is often challenged or stressed when the ideas of a teenage son or daughter and those of the parents conflict. Though the parents may be extremely concerned, their teenaged child, on the other hand, may feel that nobody understands or is on his or her side. In such cases counselling can help the family quietly and civilly exchange viewpoints with everybody having the chance to express issues and concerns. With the facilitation of the counsellor, angry words can become constructive negotiations and acceptable compromises.

You are welcome to phone me to arrange for a trial session.

phone: 040-27880615  (please leave a message)

You can also email me. Please include your phone number and times you can be contacted.

email: kontakt@paare-miteinander.de

Practice hours:

Weekdays and evenings, Saturday by arrangement